Hello again!

I think it’s important for those in a long distance relationship to hear about others that have “beat the distance” or “closed the gap.” So, for any of you out there dealing with distance, here’s my story in the form of some milestones.

July 2016.

We both happened to be online on the same chat site. Started to talk here and there and became acquainted. He was 17, living in the UK. I was 16, living in NY, US. Neither of us saw the distance as an issue, but I don’t think we intended being friends even at this point.

October 2016.

We hadn’t talked in months, but started to speak to each other every day and exchanged social media/ phone numbers (more like iMessage since international rates are outrageous!) This led to eventually labeling our interactions as a relationship, but our communication stuck to texting and some phone calls, which was hard for me. I had never talked to someone I hadn’t met in person on the phone. It took a while for me to overcome the fear, but we eventually got there and began to call quite frequently! The biggest problem with this stage was the time difference and becoming used to it.

December 2016.

We went from phone calls to FaceTime. This was all new to both of us, but we spent most days on FaceTime together. For Christmas, we decided we’d send each other gifts. Let me just say, sending a box of gifts to the UK is expensive! It was hard not being together for Christmas considering that it’s a time where being with loved ones is important. The gifts were probably the first time we both felt like things were real and not just online.

February 2017.

We decided he was going to come visit me in western NY! We booked a ticket and started planning his trip! This required him getting a passport and applying for the visa waiver program, which wasn’t too bad.

May 2017.

I had just finished high school and he was flying out to see me and attend graduation. I was nervous, especially with the fact that we had never met in person and he was going to be staying with me for five weeks. I hadn’t slept for most of the night because we talked the whole time he was in the airport. We met, it went great and we enjoyed our time together. He didn’t have much trouble with the time difference considering by this point we were pretty much used to it.

July 2017.

He was leaving to go home. I was a wreck. I remember looking up posts about LDR and desperately hoping to find someone who said it got easier. I spent days upset and felt lonely. But it got better and to help with some of the loneliness, we started looking at flights for Christmas time.

December 2017.

He flew out during finals week. He was staying for two months this time. This year he was there for Christmas and he hadn’t experienced a NY kind of winter back at home.

January 2018.

He ended up sick with the flu. We pushed back his flight to February, so he would be staying with me for three months instead of two. His parents weren’t really happy with it, but he was so sick.

May 2018.

This time I flew out to stay with him and his family for three months. We enjoyed a little vacation as well as the rare heatwave in southeast England! I enjoyed being somewhere new and it was definitely a change from him just coming here.

August 2018.

There was a storm in NYC, so my flight to JFK was cancelled. I stayed two more days and then flew home, again a wreck.

November 2018.

He flew out again for Christmas for three months. This time he was here for thanksgiving and Black Friday, which was something new. At that point we started to think about him staying permanently rather than having to go back home and deal with heartbreak. He flew back out in February 2019.

and finally, May 2019.

He flew out to spend the summer with me. He came here with a one way ticket (we got a good deal, which is important when paying for international tickets), so we went to look for a flight for him to go home and couldn’t do it. We then decided to get married in July and are now in the process of applying for his green card.

All in all, I wouldn’t change our situation. I love who he is and I love that despite all of the struggles with distance, we still make it work. He’s made me stronger and this relationship is the best it could be. But..

Distance hurts.

But, if it’s meant to be, it will be. At times it feels like your heart is crumbling inside of you without your significant other beside you. But it never gets easier leaving or seeing them leave. But in the end, it is all worth it when you know that they’re there to stay.

-M